Or lazy as a cat.
Seriously. I've been both this past week. And for good reason. I'm getting married in six days. Well basically five days and about ten hours or so (but who's really counting?). I'm excited and nervous and so anxious, as I know Justin is. He just doesn't show it.
But one of the things I was really sort of proud of was the fact that all four of my grandparents, the ones that spoiled me and taught me lessons that my parents couldn't or wouldn't, would all be there together to see me on this day. I'm so blessed to still have all four of them in my life, even though there has been some rough years in the past.
Well, that's all changed. My Granny was admitted to ICU over a week ago, and by Tuesday, I was sure that there would be one less guest. I don't go to church like I should, I'll admit that, but I've never prayed for something so bad in my life as for her to be okay. I've never felt so overwhelmed with a situation to where all of my excitement about marriage and my life with Justin just didn't seem right.
I saw her Tuesday and was so overwhelmed I couldn't even speak to her. Seriously, I have this phobia with hospitals. When Zack broke his arm and was in the hospital for like ten hours, I sat in the car. So seeing Granny in ICU was traumatizing. To be honest, I couldn't even speak to her. Hold her hand. It really was heartbreaking.
She is doing a little better, and I mean little as in like an ant size little, but I have faith. God's hand has been on her, and though it seems like crap timing, He knows what he's doing and I've just come to accept that. The wedding will go on, and we'll show her the video when she goes home...
I'm not working for the next two weeks around the wedding, and before this weekend I was not really happy about that. I wanted to be able to help out around the office, get brownie points, go to a client, but now all that stuff is not really important. The people in my life are. There's was like a quote / saying I found on Pinterest this morning stating 'Stop the glorification of busy'. And that's exactly what I need to focus on. Yes, there's so much going on, but I've come to realize that I need to stop planning it and start living it (wow, I feel cheesy for saying that). And Lord knows I'll never stop planning or making lists, but I'll try to not worry so much when things fall apart. Because they fall apart for a reason. God knows why, and that's good enough for me.
if you're the praying type, please send up an encouragement for her.
love you, granny.
